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I do so Enjoy my Insanity

September 28, 2011

I have been

diagnosed

with

(among other things)

Bipolar Disorder type 1.

 

Now

when you hear

(or

in this case

read)

the term

“Bipolar Disorder”

you probably

think

moody teenager

and not

balls-to-the-wall

full blown

insanity.

 

But

I will offer

for your amusement

a few

examples

of

just how insane

Bipolar Disorder

can

be:

 

I once though

I was a god

I once thought

I was

a genius psychologist

I once thought

that

I could sharpen my vision

by giving

the mental

command:

“Eyes: sharpen!”

 

In short

I have been

at times

quite

insane.

 

But

the thing is

that

mania

(the insane part

of

bipolar disorder)

can be

extremely

enjoyable.

 

Currently

I am not

as far as I can tell

delusional

but I am

somewhat

manic

 

and it is better

than

damn near

every

drug-induced high

one can find

(and I have

tried

a LOT

of

drugs)

 

So

if you know someone

with

bipolar disorder

don’t feel

too bad

for

him

or her.

 

Because he

or she

probably

enjoys life

a lot more

vibrantly

than you do.

 

At least

sometimes.

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4 Comments
  1. Wes permalink

    I have been where you are. I am sad for what you are experiencing. Being manic is being out of control, and I can’t abide that. I need control to live in this world, to make my decisions, to act boldly and practically. I wonder if this is something we lose touch with during mania? I wish you the best, and please be well. Think. Don’t just act.

    • While I appreciate your sympathy, you needn’t be sad about my mania. It’s really more hypomania than full-blown mania, and I’m on a decent – but light – regimen of meds. This allows me to actually experience my moods, while regulating the extremes to which they can reach. I’m still fairly in control; I’m not making crazy decisions, or anything. I’m just really excited that this blog is actually taking off, and I get a bit more excited about stuff like that than your average “mentally healthy” person.

      • Michaela Jayne permalink

        Great topic, I’d love to read more of them about what it’s like to be you (:

  2. Wes permalink

    Just be careful, friend. I know how razor-thin the line between control and anarchy is. It does not seem so, I know. For every action, there is an equal, and opposite reaction.

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